Bayonetta Review
by Brian Buckley
You’ve never experienced anything like it.
I’ve been struggling for a while now about how I can introduce this review; I’m finding it hard to put into words what Bayonetta is all about. I could bore you with details such as, it’s a third person action game where you play as Bayonetta, a witch who is trying to remember who she is and where she comes from. But that wouldn’t do it justice. I could say that Bayonetta is the latest game from the guys behind Devil May Cry, yet while the games are similar it’s not a fair comparison. I could even start mentioning the fact that it’s all about titillation and suggestion, and while that may peak some of your interest, that’s not a fair introduction either. So let me just say that, Bayonetta is the most insane game I’ve ever played.
Now, I’m not talking mental patient insane, I’m talking the good kind of insane, the kind of insane that Cliff Bleszinski promised with Gears of War 2, yes that’s right, batshit insane. It’s hard to put your finger on what makes Bayonetta so crazy, and why everyone is so enamoured with a game that makes no sense at all, from what I can make out. It could be the over the top character styling, where Bayonetta’s legs must be at least ten feet long and her clothing is made up of her hair (thats right). It could be the j-pop inspired soundtrack (“fly me to the moon” is still stuck in my head) that sort of clashes uneasily with the action at first, but in a weird way makes sense. Perhaps the enemies, each one bigger than the next and more ghastly looking, lends to the general insanity. Or could it be the action? Yes, in fact I think it’s the action.
Bayonetta walks that very fine line, between genius and madness, but thankfully succeeds and this is primarily down to the combat. If the combat didn’t work, this game would tank, and tank badly. But the action feels so fluid and natural that you cannot put the controller down. A hack like me feels like a gaming god when I pull off a ludicrous combo, everything just feels right. The button mapping with the R2 being the dodge button, leaving your thumb free to mash out your combo’s is superb. I know that might sound like a hyperbola, but in action it’s unbelievable how well it works, dodging and counter attacking at the same time. Mapping some of the combo moves to use the left analog stick also helps the n00b like me to enjoy some spectacular action. You also get button prompts on occasion to enact a torture move, which can be extremely satisfying. But with a control scheme that’s pretty easy for the likes of me to enjoy, that’s not to say that the more experienced gamer can’t get a deeper enjoyment out of it, there are plenty of harder combo’s out there for the folks looking for a challenge.
Speaking of a challenge, Bayonetta neatly breaks down each chapter into verse’s and you’re ranked after each giving you a different medal depending on the time taken, damage inflicted and damage incurred. After each chapter, it’s summarised with how you did over all. This lends itself nicely to replayability, especially for the hardened gamers who challenge on the online leaderboards. Even when you boot up the game, the hardest difficulty available is normal, this tells you one thing, Bayonetta is to be played multiple times to get the full experience. However, if you did play it multiple times, I’m not sure if the story would make any more sense, but thankfully the cut scenes can be skipped if desired.
Bayonetta is good, really good. It sucks you into a universe that’s unparalleled and unrivalled in the gaming world, both for standout moments and pure insanity. If you want to play a game where you utter the words “holy shit” almost every few minutes, and who doesn’t? Then this is the game for you.
